


To Have and to Hold

by arianapeterson19



Series: Avengers Shorts [57]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Bucky Barnes Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecure Tony, Kinda, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mild Language, Multi, Poor Tony, Protective Rhodey, Sassy Tony, So is Bucky, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Weddings, happyish ending, steve is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-24 07:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8364100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianapeterson19/pseuds/arianapeterson19
Summary: They hadn't meant to hurt him, it just hadn't occurred to Steve and Bucky and talk to Tony first. By the time they did think to talk to Tony, it was too late.ORThe one where there's a wedding, a break down, and Tony really just needs a hug.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WOULD THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS INSANE IDEA PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN GIVE THEM THE CREDIT THEY DESERVE?
> 
> Whoever it was basically said, "Steve, Bucky, and Tony are in a relationship and Steve and Bucky get married since they can now but couldn't growing up. Tony gets upset and does dumb things that land him in the hospital. They stay together but Steve and Bucky stay married"

“Bucky, will you marry me?” asked Steve.

Tony froze and so did his entire world.

Tony had been dating Bucky and Steve for two years. It had taken almost seven months to actually get together – mostly because Tony was so uncertain that there was a place for him in there perfect relationship. Steve and Bucky had both worked hard to make sure Tony understood that they valued him and wanted him in their relationship in an equal part. And for two years Tony had believed them. Until now.

“Yes!” said Bucky, smiling at Steve, taking the simple golden band from Steve’s hand.

As the two kissed Tony watched and he knew that it was the end for him. Because it just wasn’t fair. That was so much of his life, the unfairness of never being first when it mattered. And he couldn’t even bring himself to be surprised.

“Let’s go to dinner to celebrate,” suggested Steve.

“Anything you want, future husband,” said Bucky with a dreamy smile that made Tony’s stomach churn because he knew it wasn’t directed at him.

“You coming Tony?” asked Steve, looking over his shoulder at the genius on his way to the door.

“No,” said Tony.

Tony didn’t even bother coming up with an excuse but it didn’t matter because Steve just shrugged and walked out the door with Bucky.

With a sigh, Tony sat down and looked around the bedroom. It used to be just his bedroom but after he started dating Bucky and Steve they had moved into it with him. The room was filled with memories of their times together, pictures of some of their dates, Bucky’s dirty socks near the hamper – but never in because Bucky was too lazy to actually try – and Steve’s bathrobe hanging on the closet door. Tony’s suit jacket was over the desk chair. The bed was made with military precision, the blanket Bucky’s favorite shade of green. Tony’s pillow was right in the middle where the genius slept because the ex-assassin and soldier had issues sleeping anywhere but on the edge in case of threats. 

Tony curled up in the center of the bed. He could have gone to any of the spare rooms but he didn’t want to go to another room, he wanted to stay there in his own enormous bed, go to sleep, and pretend that one of his boyfriends hadn’t proposed to the other and hadn’t even bothered to talk to him about it. Maybe when he woke up it would turn out to be a dream.

\- To Have and to Hold –

“Please,” begged Steve. “You have to come to the wedding.”

“No, I really don’t,” snapped Tony. 

“Why are you being so selfish?” said Bucky, glaring at Tony from across the workshop. “Steve and I have been working our asses off trying to plan this wedding and you have done nothing but whine about the fact that you’re not getting married too. Steve can only legally marry one of us!”

“And he picked you!” yelled Tony, tears in his eyes. “He fucking picked you.”

“Tony,” said Steve, sounding pained, reaching out for the billionaire but freezing when Tony flinched out of reach. “It’s not that I love Bucky more, it’s just that I’ve loved him longer.”

“I get it,” said Tony softly. “I’ve paid for your wedding but I’m not going. Now get out.”

“No,” said Bucky.

“Fine,” said Tony, sounding as exhausted as he felt. “Then I’ll go.”

So Tony left. He donned the suit and flew out of the Tower, leaving his boyfriends in the workshop in various states of upset.

\- To Have and to Hold –

When he opened his eyes, it was to the hospital walls and a minor panic attack because he was too weak to move.

“Slow your breathing there asshole,” said Rhodey, leaning into Tony’s view. “You’re in the hospital because you haven’t eaten a proper meal in almost four months and haven’t slept since the wedding nine days ago. Basically, you’ve worked yourself into exhaustion and collapsed.”

Tony groaned and closed his eyes again.

“Listen,” said Rhodey with a sigh. “I know you’re bummed about Steve and Bucky getting married but you can’t destroy yourself over it.”

Tony turned his head away, not interested in listening to his long time best friend who just didn’t get it.

“Talk to me, please,” begged Rhodey.

“You don’t get it,” muttered Tony petulantly, knowing he sounded like a child but honestly too tired to care too much.

“Then explain it to me!”

“Why did they have to get married?” said Tony, his calm but sad tone breaking Rhodey’s heart. “Why couldn’t they have just broken up with me in private instead of having a whole party to celebrate?”

“They didn’t-“

“And if they didn’t want to break up with me, why didn’t they just stay in a long term relationship with me? Since not all of us can marry each other why couldn’t they just keep everyone the same? They claim to love me as much as each other but they still chose each other over me.”

“Tony,” said Steve’s choked voice from the door, causing the genius to look over and find the two men he loved and who he thought loved him standing there looking like he had physically struck them with his armor.

“Well it’s true,” said Tony, not backing down now that they were present. “It doesn’t matter what you say, you chose Bucky over me. Fucking again. And this time Bucky did the same. That doesn’t really sound like love to me.”

“Tony, Steve and I couldn’t get married when we were growing up,” said Bucky, stepping further into the room as though being closer to the bedridden and exhausted genius would help him understand. “Now that it’s legal we just wanted to take the opportunity we never had.”

“So I was just something to do while you waited for the legal system to acknowledge your relationship? So what, I just have to wait seventy years before you’ll want to marry me too?”

“No! Why are you being like this? It doesn’t mean we love you any less, you idiot. It just means that we wanted to get married and didn’t think you were interested in that given your track record.”

“Out!” roared Rhodey, launching out of his seat and pointing towards the door. “Now!”

“But –“

“Get the fuck out now before I rip your lungs out!”

Steve and Bucky reluctantly left while Tony curled into the fetal position and cried for the first time since it all happened.

\- To Have and to Hold –

Anyone else would have taken three months and a lot of convincing before moving back into the Tower they still shared with the men they had been in a relationship with before they married each other but Tony never backed down from a challenge and didn’t like the idea of anyone thinking he was going to let the marriage of Steve and Bucky stop him from living however the hell he wanted to live. So when he was released from the hospital a week after he was admitted, Tony immediately moved back to the Tower.

Steve and Bucky were waiting for him in their – his – room.

“Both of your rooms are still furnished,” stated Tony, refusing to make eye contact with either man as he rummaged through his closet. “You can pick which one you sleep in now.”

“If that’s what you really want, then we’ll do that,” said Steve. “But first I need you to hear me out.”

“I’m actually really busy,” said Tony.

“I never meant to hurt you,” continued Steve, refusing to be sucked into the side tracking whirlwind that was Tony Stark avoidance. “I proposed to Bucky because I love him and I honestly didn’t think you were interested in marriage. I should have talked to both of you about it first, I realize that now. I wish there was some way I could marry you too so I could prove to you that this isn’t me picking Bucky over you, but there’s not.”

“Steve and I have talked about it and if you want us to get a divorce so we can all be together like before then we will,” said Bucky.

“That’s not what I want!” yelled Tony. “I love you idiots but you can be so dense. I just can’t be in a relationship where I feel like a third wheel, which is clearly what I am since you not only decided to get married without talking to me but now you’ve decided to get divorced without talking to me until it’s already an option. I get it, I really do. Growing up you two couldn’t even admit you were in a relationship and suddenly you can get married. Of course you want to do that, it’s what you’ve wanted since the 40’s, but this isn’t about just you anymore. So try and see it from my point of view. I enter a relationship between two people who have been together since before I was born. They convince me that – somehow – I am just as important to them as they are to each other. Then they get married to each other, leaving me out. Now, because it was a public affair, everyone will always see their relationship as the valid one and mine as something not as serious. If you get divorced now it looks like I forced you to and you clearly want to be married. I don’t want to be the bad guy here, I just don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m not as important.”

“But you are important!”

“Not enough to matter. Even when I was clearly upset and against you guys getting married instead of postponing the wedding and talking to me about it like we are now you went ahead with it. It’s only after you got what you wanted that you are dealing with me.”

Steve was surprised but not shocked. Tony was right, he and Bucky had been horrible partners to him and Steve couldn’t see a way to fix it.

“Tony, I’m sorry,” whispered Steve.

“Me too,” replied Tony before walking away.

\- To Have and to Hold –

Sitting with Bruce at the kitchen counter, eating dry cereal right out of the box, Tony reflected that the past month had been miserable for him. Bucky and Steve were still married and while his anger at them had faded, Tony was still hurt over the entire ordeal. He wasn’t even sure what to call them anymore. They hadn’t officially broken up but they weren’t sleeping in the same room and they were barely speaking at all.

“Tony,” said Bucky, marching into the kitchen, ignoring Bruce. “I fucked up.”

“I’m eating breakfast,” said Tony. “Are we just stating the obvious here? Because if so, I have to say Bruce is uncomfortable with the entire situation.”

“Steve fucked up too but he’s already tried the whole apologizing thing and is absolutely miserable,” said Bucky, ignoring Tony’s sass. “Now, I fucked up. And I fucked up bad. I get it – as much as I can – I hurt you. And you’re right, I do want to be married to Stevie but not if it means I lose you as well. But as you already pointed out, divorce isn’t really an option with the publicity. We can’t just pick up where we left off because I hurt you and things aren’t going to be the same after that. So here’s what I propose. I want to court you.”

“What are you, a knight?” scoffed Tony. 

“Tony, I’ve taken away every reason for you to trust me,” said Bucky, eyes glistening but features set. “But let me court you. Let me show you that I’m serious. Let me prove to you how much you mean to me.”

“What about your husband?” spat Tony.

“He’ll figure out his own way to show you how much you mean to him,” said Bucky.

“I’m not going to be the one to get between two married people,” said Tony.

“I’ve done some research and Steve’s right, it’s not legal for all of us to get married, but rumor has it you know some of the best lawyers in the world and I bet they can figure out a way to get us as legally mixed up as possible. But I’m not willing to do that right now.”

Tony felt his heart drop and it was only then that he realized he had been hoping to mean something to Bucky still.

“Because I don’t deserve you yet,” continued Bucky. “But if, after I’ve convinced you how much you mean to me and after Steve gets his head out of his ass and figures out how to woo you, then we’ll all sit down and really talk it over. So will you at least let me try?”

Tony eyed Bucky skeptically, looking for some sign that he was joking. But there was nothing. Bucky looked back just as steadily and for the first time Tony noticed how tired Bucky looked. It hurt the genius, because he still loved the idiot, but he was also still hurt because that same idiot had left him behind. Tony was exhausted.

“Fine,” sighed Tony. “I’m not promising anything, though.”

“I wouldn’t dream of asking you to promise me a thing,” said Bucky with a grin.

Bucky knew it was going to take a hell of a lot of work to earn Tony’s trust back. Steve and him were paying the price for forgetting that it wasn’t just about them anymore, that it wasn’t just them against the world. As he walked out of the kitchen, already thinking about which flower he would get the brunette, Bucky knew he would do whatever it took, for however long it took, to show Tony that he would never take the man for granted again.


	2. Alternate Ending - T'Challa

Bucky and Steve had moved out of the Tower and into an apartment in Brooklyn. Bucky, when he tried to explain it to Tony, had said that Steve and him needed a little bit of space to work on their own relationship – which was falling apart. Tony wasn’t even surprised, he knew the both of them were struggling in the aftermath of the wedding and consequent fight. After several failed attempts at wooing him, Tony had told Bucky to just gracefully bow out, it wasn’t working.

Tony decided that he was done with actively pursuing relationships. They were a lot of work and they always ended poorly.

“Tony, remember that you’re having dinner with T’Challa in a half hour,” called Rhodey, who had been instructed by Pepper to make sure Tony made it to all of his meetings while she was on vacation.

“Yeah, yeah,” said Tony, rolling his eyes. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have dinner with T’Challa – the young ruler had actually become one of his closest friends over the years of business trips – but he did not appreciate being treated like a child. He could get to appointments and meetings on his own, thank you very much. Still, he couldn’t say he disliked having Rhodey around so often. The entire ordeal with Bucky and Steve had driven the colonel to become even more protective of his best friend which meant seeing the genius more often to check and make sure he was eating and sleeping properly.

To prove it, Tony changed into a nice pair of jeans and a button up shirt, even going so far as to comb his hair, before sauntering down to the lobby to wait on his friend. T’Challa, the bastard, was already there, looking as put together as ever.

“Hey there handsome,” said Tony shamelessly.

“Good evening,” said T’Challa with a grin.

“So where are we going for dinner?” asked Tony as they walked out of the Tower. “Rhodey wouldn’t say.”

“That’s because I told him not to tell you,” said T’Challa. “It wouldn’t be a very good surprise if you knew about it.”

“Then why does Rhodey get to know?”

“Because I wanted to check with him to be sure you wouldn’t be allergic to anything you may be served.”

Tony paused for a beat, taken aback by the casually delivered comment. The genius wasn’t used to anyone going out of their way for something so little. In fact, Tony had been to many dinners – business and dates alike – that had ended with him ordering a salad or just drinks and having to get food on the way home because he was allergic to what was being served. He was allergic to seafood but it wasn’t common knowledge.

“You didn’t have to do that,” said Tony, resuming his pace.

“I don’t want to take you somewhere you won’t enjoy,” replied T’Challa. “And speaking of allergies, now that I know you’re allergic to seafood, what else are you allergic to?”

“Some laundry detergent,” admitted Tony. “I was in college, I had swiped a shirt from a guy to walk back to my apartment and found out the hard way that I was allergic to whatever he used to wash it. The press snapped some pictures that ended up plastered all over the place claiming that my red eyes and flushed expression meant I was high out of my mind on drugs. I never did drugs – I don’t think killing brain cells is a good time – but whatever. Still never found out what that soap was, though.”

T’Challa hummed in acknowledgement, making a mental note to ask Pepper or Rhodey what brands of soap Tony had used without negative repercussions; it wouldn’t do for him to set Tony off because he washed his clothes in something bad for the genius.

The restaurant was a small Italian place that made their own cheese in the back. T’Challa had spoken to the owner when making reservations and had paid the woman handsomely to assure that they would be left alone while dining.

“This place is fantastic,” declared Tony as he looked at his menu. “How did you even know about it? I’ve never heard of it before.”

T’Challa smiled at the billionaire. Tony ordered some dish T’Challa had never heard of, speaking fluent Italian to the owner. It seemed like the restaurant had been the correct choice; T’Challa would have to thank Rhodey later for the suggestion of going with Italian.

The conversation flowed easily between the two friends, both laughing and joking as the night wore on. Tony was so at ease that T’Challa hated to disturb that but he knew he must. He had been putting off the conversation for far too long.

“Tony, there is something I wish to discuss with you,” said T’Challa as they were finishing up desert and both nursing a cup of coffee.

“Sounds serious,” said Tony before taking another sip of his coffee.

“It is, but not in the way you are thinking.”

T’Challa allowed Tony another sip of coffee, knowing how the genius relied on the substance.

“I would like to date you,” said T’Challa, not one for beating around the bush.

Tony froze.

“Dating,” said Tony, spinning his coffee cup in his hand. “That’s a thing. A thing people do.”

“We have been doing it for a time,” said T’Challa with a soft smile, hoping to put Tony at ease. “I would just like to make it official so we can attend events together and I can properly take care of you.”

“I don’t need to be taken care of,” said Tony automatically, his mind still reeling from the fact that T’Challa wanted to ask him out.

“I didn’t say you did, I said I would like to do it, there is a difference. Trust me, I know how very capable you are.”

“Why do you want to date me?”

“You are a unique human being,” said T’Challa. “You don’t think the same way most do, you see things differently. You are kind and try to give back with what you have. I would like to continue getting to know you and I think I could make you happy as well.”

“I’m not good at relationships,” said Tony, looking guarded and T’Challa was thankful that he had known it was going to be difficult earning Tony’s trust with this. Not for the first time did T’Challa wish he could ring the necks of those idiotic enough to hurt Tony.

“It takes two people to have a relationship.”

“Yes, and if one of those people are me then the relationship is doomed to fail from the start. It’s personal, I’d love to date you, but I really don’t want to have another friendship lost because of it.”

“Then how about we take this slowly,” suggested T’Challa with a warm smile. “For now, we limit it to dinner and casual dates, things we could do as friends.”

“Then how does that make it any different than just staying friends?”

“I get to pay and, if you’re comfortable with it, maybe hold your hand at times.”

Tony thought it over, because he truly did want to date T’Challa, he just didn’t think he had enough left in him to invest emotionally in a relationship. Even before Steve and Bucky, Tony had very little to offer anyone. What he did have, he gave to Bucky and Steve and they took it with them when they left. He explained as much to T’Challa on months back.

“I’m not sure,” said Tony.

“Take your time,” said T’Challa. “I won’t mention it again until you desire. Now, shall we take a stroll?”

“Just like that? You’re not going to push the issue?”

T’Challa looked sad at the comment because he knew where it came from. Steve and Bucky had committed many hurts to Tony Stark but perhaps the most damaging was not the act of getting married but of refusing to let him go peacefully. Bucky tried for a while to win Tony back, Steve as well in his own way, but it all came to nothing, leaving Tony yet again on his own. Stringing him along with some semblance of hope had been cruel, no matter how guarded Tony had been from the start. The evidence of that hurt was clear when Tony believed his desire for time to think without being pestered was not something to be respected.

“This isn’t something I want you to answer without thought,” said T’Challa calmly. “You have every reason to think it through, it’s a big step and I don’t want you to agree unless you’re certain it’s something you not only desire but are ready for.”

“And if I’m not ready?”

“If you are not ready then I will wait. If you are not interested then we shall continue as friends and nothing more.”

Tony eyed the young ruler skeptically but said nothing. The small smile he had tugging at his lips as he rose from his seat, however, said more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...by popular demand I have continued and strayed outside of the prompt to help give Tony the ending he deserves. Several people mentioned him ending up with T'Challa, so that happens here. If you'd rather he end up with someone else, then let me know and I might add that as well because...well because the original prompt just did a ton of things to my emotions.
> 
> Happy NaNoWriMo! (I'm working on my own novel plus trying to update things, so that should be fun)
> 
> Always,  
> Ari

**Author's Note:**

> I know, two posts in the same day, crazy. I was just going through my documents and noticed a few things hadn't gotten posted yet. I'll update my other stories soon.
> 
> Always,  
> Ari


End file.
